Manipulation... or is it?

For those who parent children that have been victims of abuse, neglect, or other form of developmental trauma:


"The child's avoidance and controlling behaviors are survival skills developed under conditions of overwhelming trauma. They will decrease as a sense of safety increases, and while they may need to be addressed, this is not done with anger, withdrawal or love, or shame."
- Daniel Hughes

Nine Words Women Use

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
Written by a Married Man
(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh : This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome;' that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying -@*!- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Adoption Class?

So I was looking at some community classes offered in Davis County, and I got to thinking... Wouldn't it be helpful to teach a class on something relevant to International Adoption?

So many parents are unprepared, especially for the kids adopted from orphanages.  They have wonderful ideas of bringing home a bundle of joy, saving a child from deplorable conditions, adding to their families, teaching and raising up a child, and they have many expectations and hopes and dreams.

All of those things are good, but often a child's environment before being adopted is such that it creates attachment disorders, developmental trauma, and nutritional deficiencies which affect the brain.  Children at times have fetal alcohol disorder.  They may struggle to show affection, or may be so chaotic that they can literally turn a household upside down by recreating the chaos.

Unfortunately I have seen situations in which parents have become so detached and emotionally dysregulated that they have wanted to escape and ultimately come to the point they are willing to give the child up to the State.

I believe that through gaining knowledge and preparation, parents can avoid situations in which they are faced with a lifetime of feeling trapped or the guilt of giving their child up.  It is tragic for the parents and the child; a no-win situation.

Please vote on the above poll and let me know if you or someone you know would be interested in taking a class offered on International Adoption issues.