Manipulation... or is it?

For those who parent children that have been victims of abuse, neglect, or other form of developmental trauma:


"The child's avoidance and controlling behaviors are survival skills developed under conditions of overwhelming trauma. They will decrease as a sense of safety increases, and while they may need to be addressed, this is not done with anger, withdrawal or love, or shame."
- Daniel Hughes

Adoption Class?

So I was looking at some community classes offered in Davis County, and I got to thinking... Wouldn't it be helpful to teach a class on something relevant to International Adoption?

So many parents are unprepared, especially for the kids adopted from orphanages.  They have wonderful ideas of bringing home a bundle of joy, saving a child from deplorable conditions, adding to their families, teaching and raising up a child, and they have many expectations and hopes and dreams.

All of those things are good, but often a child's environment before being adopted is such that it creates attachment disorders, developmental trauma, and nutritional deficiencies which affect the brain.  Children at times have fetal alcohol disorder.  They may struggle to show affection, or may be so chaotic that they can literally turn a household upside down by recreating the chaos.

Unfortunately I have seen situations in which parents have become so detached and emotionally dysregulated that they have wanted to escape and ultimately come to the point they are willing to give the child up to the State.

I believe that through gaining knowledge and preparation, parents can avoid situations in which they are faced with a lifetime of feeling trapped or the guilt of giving their child up.  It is tragic for the parents and the child; a no-win situation.

Please vote on the above poll and let me know if you or someone you know would be interested in taking a class offered on International Adoption issues.

Unadoptable is Unacceptable

Here is a great video that highlights the fact that every child in foster care is adoptable.  Some may hold the belief that some kids are too damaged or too difficult.  See what you think about this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLP3pAfCHgo

Also, for those who are interested:


Fostering Teens: Rewards and Challenges

Utah Foster Care Foundation (UFCF) will focus its efforts to find families for teens in foster care during the month of February at three public forums along the Wasatch Front (dates and locations below). The forums will feature several foster families with experience caring for teens. And, the public will get to hear from the teens themselves.

“We are trying to dispel some of the myths about teens in foster care,” says Mike Hamblin, UFCF’s Director of Foster Family Recruitment. “Teenagers are placed in foster care for the same reasons as younger children: because of abuse or neglect in their biological homes.”

“They have similar needs as their younger siblings,” continues Hamblin. “They need structure, a safe environment, and a connection to a caring adult that they can carry through their lives.”



South Ogden
Saturday, Feb. 25th
10:00am-Noon
Holy Family Catholic Church
1100 East 5550 South

Utah Foster Care Foundation is a nonprofit that serves Utah’s children by finding, educating and nurturing families to meet the needs of children in foster care. For more information, go to www.utahfostercare.org. ##