Marriage: The hard, but good way...

I wanted to post this song and found this Youtube video that works well enough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvniXDH-2-o

Some couples don't realize that marriage really is hard work.  It was really sad when I saw a couple in counseling where the wife was ready to call it quits after just a few months.  I've seen other couples fight like crazy to make their marriage work.  It's not going to just happen.  You don't just "fall" out of love, or grow apart, unless you have been neglecting to Enrich Your Marriage.  Check out this article by Pres. James E. Faust: 

http://www.lds.org/liahona/2007/04/enriching-your-marriage?lang=eng&query=faust+enrich+your+marriage

Nine Words Women Use

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
Written by a Married Man
(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh : This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome;' that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying -@*!- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Husbands...

Have you ever felt torn between work life and home life?  You know in your heart where you'd rather be, but the balancing act can be tough.

Check out this video: Where's My Supersuit?

Wives, any advice for husbands on how they can be successful in their careers but still help you know that you are his number one priority?  What have your husbands done?

If You've Ever Thought of Doing Marriage Counseling...

"Researchers estimate that only about 30% of U.S. couples who divorce make an attempt to reconcile before the divorce... A survey of Utah adults found that only about half of couples who divorced first sought either secular or religious counseling."

"This is unfortunate because reserachers have estimated that about 80% of couples may see improvement in their relationship after visiting a marriage counselor, and over the short term, almost half say all of their major problems were resolved." 


"While many children are resilient, still the process of family dissolution is associated with about twice the risk for various social and emotional problems in children of divorce. ... Children who experience their parents' divorce are less likely to graduate from high school, go to college, or graduate from college once they start.  They are twice as likely to doubt their parents' religious beliefs and less likely to attend church services.  They are at greater risk for early sexual behavior and pregnancy.  And they are much more likely to experience a divorce when they marry."

(Hawkins, A.J., Fackrell, T.A., Should I Keep Trying to Work It Out? Sacred and Secular Perspectives on the Crossroads of Divorce.  Successful Marriages and Families. 2012. pp 79-87.)

A major principle in how to approach resolving marriage problems:

This is one of the quotes that I use all the time in working with couples:


“… you ought not to worry so much about solving your marital problems as in dealing with the emotions they stir.” – John Gottman, Ph.D. page 175 Why Marriages Succeed or Fail

Here is another one:

"You can not change anything unless you first accept it.  Condemnation doesn't liberate, it oppresses." -- Carl Jung


What are your thoughts?