Have you ever felt torn between work life and home life? You know in your heart where you'd rather be, but the balancing act can be tough.
Check out this video: Where's My Supersuit?
Wives, any advice for husbands on how they can be successful in their careers but still help you know that you are his number one priority? What have your husbands done?
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
If You've Ever Thought of Doing Marriage Counseling...
"Researchers estimate that only about 30% of U.S. couples who divorce make an attempt to reconcile before the divorce... A survey of Utah adults found that only about half of couples who divorced first sought either secular or religious counseling."
"This is unfortunate because reserachers have estimated that about 80% of couples may see improvement in their relationship after visiting a marriage counselor, and over the short term, almost half say all of their major problems were resolved."
"While many children are resilient, still the process of family dissolution is associated with about twice the risk for various social and emotional problems in children of divorce. ... Children who experience their parents' divorce are less likely to graduate from high school, go to college, or graduate from college once they start. They are twice as likely to doubt their parents' religious beliefs and less likely to attend church services. They are at greater risk for early sexual behavior and pregnancy. And they are much more likely to experience a divorce when they marry."
(Hawkins, A.J., Fackrell, T.A., Should I Keep Trying to Work It Out? Sacred and Secular Perspectives on the Crossroads of Divorce. Successful Marriages and Families. 2012. pp 79-87.)
"This is unfortunate because reserachers have estimated that about 80% of couples may see improvement in their relationship after visiting a marriage counselor, and over the short term, almost half say all of their major problems were resolved."
"While many children are resilient, still the process of family dissolution is associated with about twice the risk for various social and emotional problems in children of divorce. ... Children who experience their parents' divorce are less likely to graduate from high school, go to college, or graduate from college once they start. They are twice as likely to doubt their parents' religious beliefs and less likely to attend church services. They are at greater risk for early sexual behavior and pregnancy. And they are much more likely to experience a divorce when they marry."
(Hawkins, A.J., Fackrell, T.A., Should I Keep Trying to Work It Out? Sacred and Secular Perspectives on the Crossroads of Divorce. Successful Marriages and Families. 2012. pp 79-87.)
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Unadoptable is Unacceptable
Here is a great video that highlights the fact that every child in foster care is adoptable. Some may hold the belief that some kids are too damaged or too difficult. See what you think about this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLP3pAfCHgo
Also, for those who are interested:
Fostering Teens: Rewards and Challenges
Utah Foster Care Foundation (UFCF) will focus its efforts to find families for teens in foster care during the month of February at three public forums along the Wasatch Front (dates and locations below). The forums will feature several foster families with experience caring for teens. And, the public will get to hear from the teens themselves.
“We are trying to dispel some of the myths about teens in foster care,” says Mike Hamblin, UFCF’s Director of Foster Family Recruitment. “Teenagers are placed in foster care for the same reasons as younger children: because of abuse or neglect in their biological homes.”
“They have similar needs as their younger siblings,” continues Hamblin. “They need structure, a safe environment, and a connection to a caring adult that they can carry through their lives.”
South Ogden
Saturday, Feb. 25th
10:00am-Noon
Holy Family Catholic Church
1100 East 5550 South
Utah Foster Care Foundation is a nonprofit that serves Utah’s children by finding, educating and nurturing families to meet the needs of children in foster care. For more information, go to www.utahfostercare.org. ##
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLP3pAfCHgo
Also, for those who are interested:
Fostering Teens: Rewards and Challenges
Utah Foster Care Foundation (UFCF) will focus its efforts to find families for teens in foster care during the month of February at three public forums along the Wasatch Front (dates and locations below). The forums will feature several foster families with experience caring for teens. And, the public will get to hear from the teens themselves.
“We are trying to dispel some of the myths about teens in foster care,” says Mike Hamblin, UFCF’s Director of Foster Family Recruitment. “Teenagers are placed in foster care for the same reasons as younger children: because of abuse or neglect in their biological homes.”
“They have similar needs as their younger siblings,” continues Hamblin. “They need structure, a safe environment, and a connection to a caring adult that they can carry through their lives.”
South Ogden
Saturday, Feb. 25th
10:00am-Noon
Holy Family Catholic Church
1100 East 5550 South
Utah Foster Care Foundation is a nonprofit that serves Utah’s children by finding, educating and nurturing families to meet the needs of children in foster care. For more information, go to www.utahfostercare.org. ##
Monday, February 20, 2012
A major principle in how to approach resolving marriage problems:
This is one of the quotes that I use all the time in working with couples:
“… you ought not to worry so much about solving your marital problems as in dealing with the emotions they stir.” – John Gottman, Ph.D. page 175 Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
“… you ought not to worry so much about solving your marital problems as in dealing with the emotions they stir.” – John Gottman, Ph.D. page 175 Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
Here is another one:
"You can not change anything unless you first accept it. Condemnation doesn't liberate, it oppresses." -- Carl Jung
What are your thoughts?
What are your thoughts?
Embarking on the Adventure
I know there will likely be few that read this post, so perhaps this will be more of a personal note; some thoughts on starting a business. Am I going to do it? That's the plan. I have wanted to for a long time and now is that time to get it together. As if I don't have a huge load already on my plate. My parents tried to teach me not to eat to fast or take too much food: "Your eyes were bigger than your stomach... huh?" Yep, but I can't rest.
My wife and son are spending some time together shopping. Our oldest daughter is watching Fantasia. Our youngest is taking her afternoon nap. And I am constantly switching positions and posture trying to deal with my sprained back. While basketball is fun, I guess I thought I was taller than I am. I guess one could say that I am not in the ideal condition or frame of mind to start a business. But hey, if not now, when?
I gained full licensure as an LCSW in September 2011. That was a long road, full of sacrifices, but as a family we have made it through. I have been learning a lot in my new position at DCFS as a post-adoption specialist. I am learning that there are not enough supports for families that have adopted when the adoption perhaps has turned the family upside down. Parents that mean well and have all the love in their hearts take on the challenge of adopting and they are not fully prepared for children with attachment disorders, trauma, mental illness, fetal alcohol or drug exposure, or other difficult situations. Parents look inward and blame themselves and grow to resent their child.
So is it the child's fault then? If it's not the parents, it must be just a difficult child! Well, perhaps society also hasn't figured out how to best approach the problems that come when families haven't functioned as they should have.
No system can raise a child like a healthy family can. I once had a co-worker put it well: "It's not that it takes a village to raise a child; It takes a village sometimes to help a family raise a child."
My wife and son are spending some time together shopping. Our oldest daughter is watching Fantasia. Our youngest is taking her afternoon nap. And I am constantly switching positions and posture trying to deal with my sprained back. While basketball is fun, I guess I thought I was taller than I am. I guess one could say that I am not in the ideal condition or frame of mind to start a business. But hey, if not now, when?
I gained full licensure as an LCSW in September 2011. That was a long road, full of sacrifices, but as a family we have made it through. I have been learning a lot in my new position at DCFS as a post-adoption specialist. I am learning that there are not enough supports for families that have adopted when the adoption perhaps has turned the family upside down. Parents that mean well and have all the love in their hearts take on the challenge of adopting and they are not fully prepared for children with attachment disorders, trauma, mental illness, fetal alcohol or drug exposure, or other difficult situations. Parents look inward and blame themselves and grow to resent their child.
So is it the child's fault then? If it's not the parents, it must be just a difficult child! Well, perhaps society also hasn't figured out how to best approach the problems that come when families haven't functioned as they should have.
No system can raise a child like a healthy family can. I once had a co-worker put it well: "It's not that it takes a village to raise a child; It takes a village sometimes to help a family raise a child."
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In our marriages and our lives we are too quick to turn to weapons, fighting, and hurting others, and not looking inward at changing ourselves; whatever that change might need to be. Having peace and happiness is the goal for anyone. Some just get a little lost and aren't using the most effective methods to achieve that goal. As they say in Brazil: "Exemplo menos eficaz."